Six months. Twenty-six weeks.
One hundred and eighty-two days.
Four thousand, three hundred and eighty-two hours.
Two hundred, sixty-two thousand, nine hundred and seventy-four minutes.
fifteen million, seven hundred and sixty-eight thousand seconds.
Time is a wonder. So much of it, but so little at the same time. Why do hundreds of trillions of minutes soar past us so quickly? Already today marks the half year time stretch since my last birthday, yet I remember everything as if it was yesterday. Finishing dance class and getting hugs and birthday wishes from everyone before putting on my dress and going for dinner. Six months since I sat at the Italian restaurant and tried to decide over a dish for my dinner. Six months since my little sister surprised me with a copy of The Hunger Games and I was exploding with astonishment and happiness. Six months since I sat on my Aunt's couch and opened what is now my favourite hoodie. It's incredible how long ago it is already.
I've been going to high school for one month exactly as of tomorrow, but in reality it only feels like two weeks. Already we are eleven months away from summer and only a little less than three months away from Christmas. Why time? Why are you going so fast? Stop for a little while won't you?
People have asked me, after reading one of my first blog entries, why it is that I cry on Christmas. It's true, every Christmas Eve for the past few years has brought me to tears. This is the reason. I cry because time has slipped so easily through my fingers, it has gone away forever with no way or hope of ever getting it back. It's slowly, day by day, minute by minute, becoming a little farther out of my grasp and disappearing from my view. I can go through my life smoothly, shallowly and without concern but every once in awhile it hits me like a rock again, how far I am in life and how much I've been missing.
It makes me upset and truly, scared to think that each day is all I have. I wish so badly that I could freeze where I am now and live in it forever, where there is no tragedy, heartbreak or hardship. Where all of my relationships are good and everything is perfect. Coming into September was extremely hard for me because I was terrified that I would lose every good thing that had happened over the summer-friendships that had become one hundred percent better than they already were.
But looking back, I see that all of the worrying was pointless. If anything, the friendships have become even stronger and the good things have grown into positive experiences that I will remember for the rest of my life. Yes, time does fly past us and no amount of wishing or begging can slow it down, this is sad. But the one thing we can do to make it last, is live to the fullest in every single moment. As hard as it is, forgetting tomorrow, putting aside next week and thinking only about the present minute, that's what we should do. No matter what happens today or any other time in the future, take what you're doing right now and rejoice in it because it's a beautiful gift from God, no matter how short it is.
