It's my final year of high school. Going into it I told myself I wouldn't stress. I laughed in my friends' faces when they questioned me.
"Get stressed out, are you kidding?"
No. Not me. Not this year.
I swore I would change my attitude this time around. I wouldn't let anything shake me up. I wouldn't freak myself out over life's insignificancies...
Apparently when I made this decision, I had forgotten what it meant to be Laurel Farrell, the dedicated perfectionist and over-achieving enthusiast of everything.
It is only the first week of November and I am officially done.
The truth is that my courses are great and my workload is balanced. What is tiring me out is my never ending attempt to be the all-doing, ever-involved, amazing...and attractive high school senior. Like a hamster that doesn't know when to stop eating, I am unaware of my own saturation point. I continue to take on challenges and opportunities to help out others even when my stomach is so full that food begins to escape from my cardiac sphincter. As can be expected, this results in heart burn.
For example, I have taken on so many opportunities to be involved this week that between classes, charity collections, student council meetings, music lessons, university presentations, scholarship applications and semi formals, there is no time left for myself.
Do not misunderstand. I am not complaining. And yes, I do know how to tell people no.
The truth is that I absolutely love being busy...it just tires you out after a while.
This is why I have decided to make time right now, to blog for the first time in over a year.
I haven't written in a very long time and the past few weeks I have felt as though I was missing something in my life. This is it.
I believe that by making time for myself through blogging, I am avoiding complete digestion. I am back peddling through the duodenum and knocking on the pyloric sphincter, with the hopes that I can get back into the stomach.
If I slow myself down, perhaps I can avoid the large intestine for a little while longer. Perhaps I can prevent myself from total defecation.
