Devoured, Digested, Defecated...

 School has consumed me. My life, which was once full of joy and adventure, has been devoured and digested by the education system.

It's my final year of high school. Going into it I told myself I wouldn't stress. I laughed in my friends' faces when they questioned me.

"Get stressed out, are you kidding?" 

No. Not me. Not this year. 

I swore I would change my attitude this time around. I wouldn't let anything shake me up. I wouldn't freak myself out over life's insignificancies... 

Apparently when I made this decision, I had forgotten what it meant to be Laurel Farrell, the dedicated perfectionist and over-achieving enthusiast of everything.  

It is only the first week of November and I am officially done. 

The truth is that my courses are great and my workload is balanced. What is tiring me out is my never ending attempt to be the all-doing, ever-involved, amazing...and attractive high school senior. Like a hamster that doesn't know when to stop eating, I am unaware of my own saturation point. I continue to take on challenges and opportunities to help out others even when my stomach is so full that food begins to escape from my cardiac sphincter. As can be expected, this results in heart burn. 

For example, I have taken on so many opportunities to be involved this week that between classes, charity collections, student council meetings, music lessons, university presentations, scholarship applications and semi formals, there is no time left for myself. 

Do not misunderstand. I am not complaining. And yes, I do know how to tell people no. 

The truth is that I absolutely love being busy...it just tires you out after a while. 

This is why I have decided to make time right now, to blog for the first time in over a year. 

I haven't written in a very long time and the past few weeks I have felt as though I was missing something in my life. This is it. 

I believe that by making time for myself through blogging, I am avoiding complete digestion. I am back peddling through the duodenum and knocking on the pyloric sphincter, with the hopes that I can get back into the stomach. 

If I slow myself down, perhaps I can avoid the large intestine for a little while longer. Perhaps I can prevent myself from total defecation. 

And yes...this is the weirdest blog post I have ever written. 

Remembering a Passion

     February has started, along with Semester Two on the school calendar. After just about a week I'm beginning to adapt to my new classes and locker location, but I still find that I miss my old habits a little. The one that I miss the most is spending second period in the music room, pouring out my heart into something beautiful, (sometimes something not so beautiful) and learning about ways to expand my musical horizon. 

     After school today, I sat down at our piano and realized that it had been over a week since I played anything at all and I felt out of practice, even though a week is hardly drastic. I miss being able to sit down and work on pieces that I'll be presenting, writing or recording, the way that I did for music class. 

     I decided to make a list of every song that I remember playing throughout last semester and combine them all into a giant medley that I can listen to, not only for remembering what I learned, but also because each song has its own knapsack of memories that makes me smile. It took me the night, but I think I finally worked in every song that I either performed, wrote or recorded throughout all of my music classes.

     Maybe you'll recognize some of the songs, maybe they'll hold memories for you too, or maybe they're nothing but pretty melodies to listen to. For me they are a great reminder of the things I learned, and a memento of all the amazing, talented people I met and got to work with along the way. Here's to learning, passion, friendship, music and what was simply, an awesome first semester!  

 ~In Honour of Music Class~

Life, Exams and Pillsbury Crescents...A Quick Summary

     It's been a while...
In all honesty, it feels like forever since I last blogged. I have been having an amazing month and new year so far and the more I think about it, things couldn't be going any better. 

     I plan to post more now that I'm starting to sort the new year out, but as of now I'm taking the few minutes I have to give you a quick sum up of my life's events. After Christmas I bought a Macbook Pro which is serving me very well in school and out. Over the weekend of January 12th, I attended The Pulse on Tour in Toronto with some old friends and was taught how to dance by some of the choreographers from So You Think You Can Dance. It was my second year going and honestly one of the best experiences ever! As of right now, Rihanna's "Diamonds" is playing on our speakers and making want to dance one of the routines. 

A rule that my brother taught me how to ignore...

     On the topic of dance, we also recently switched danced schools to a much closer studio so that we are no longer dancing in Oakville. Although it's different, I can say that it's a good, healthy change and it it would also be good to point out that I'm in love with Lyrical! ;) 

     Today, a friend and I performed an original song in Music class to complete the second of my four exams. It went really well and already I can feel a load of stress lifted off of my chest. Tomorrow the calendar is labelled with "Science Exam" and then Wednesday with "English Exam" as well as Braces! As of January 30th I'll have upper and lower braces...While this seems like a damper, it's a good sign because it means I'm halfway through the torture of Metal Mouth! 

     Right now, a quick school break has resulted in baking some Pillsbury Crescents for a snack...then it's straight to Science studying! Nothing like snacks, music, dancing and studying on a foggy Monday afternoon!

Battling Writer's Block...One Blessing at a Time...Both a Pearl and a Point

     It's another day that I'm sitting directly in front of my computer, staring emptily at a blank post page writing...or at least trying to. For the past week I've been in this situation, a new post started every day, Lord willing I'll finish and publish one of them! I'm a terrible liar, so I'll confess that I have eight, if not more, posts in my drafts box that are waiting for their moment to shine. Whether that time will ever come I have no idea, hopefully it will, but before it does I need to battle this writer's block that's got me at a red light in my creative intersection.

     I came to the conclusion that of the two ways I know how to defeat writer's block, it would be best to take action on one of them. Either A.) Take a break and come back to the post in a week. Or B.) Write something entirely new and simple. My obvious decision, since me and writing are inseparable, was B. I then found myself on the question of "What is the simplest thing to write?" The answer I was searching for was simple as I found it in everything around me.

     Please bear with me as I take a stab at writer's block and attempt to list all of the things I'm thankful for. As it is an endless list, I've tried to make it a relatively normal length for everyone's sake.

1.) Number one on my list is an obvious one, but the amount of thankfulness I have towards and for it can never be stretched enough. I am thankful for my family who, through everything that I say and do will never stop loving and supporting me. All of you make me laugh and smile on a daily basis and can always somehow perk me up when I'm feeling sad. There is never an end to the fun we have, and you also pay for things which saves me money, so I'm thankful for that too!

2.) Secondly I'm thankful for my friends, of which there are quite a few. I can't honestly say how happy I am to have you in my life. From making me laugh, to eating lunch with me at school, and encouraging me that my scissor splits aren't really as bad as I think they are. Even just making my overall miserable day lighter and worth waking up to. Thank you!

3.) I'm sure some people thought I might never say this one, but it's true. I'm thankful for my school in which every day is exciting and incredible. So much so, that I look forward to Mondays so that I can be back with all of the amazing people, learning something new. For teachers who inspire and encourage me, the people that are never elitist, and the SLD that is always there, I can't ever be thankful enough. I'm always learning, always laughing, always growing and always improving someway or another.

4.) I'm thankful for my dance school. The two of you teachers are incredible and inspirational to me. You make me want to pursue dance every time I find it difficult, help me every time I ask and always are willing to eat my cookies...even though there's a chance they might taste terrible.You stuff each class full of both an intense workout and smiles so that we're not afraid to try and risk falling on our faces...because it has happened. ;) 

5.)  For number five and my last one, I'd like to thank God. When I look at everything that precedes this, I realize that there is no way, no how that any of this could have even been possible without you behind me to keep pushing me forward when I feel like I'm ready to quit. Out of difficult situations you have shown me solutions. Out of first time meetings you have created beautiful friendships. Out of a love for movement you have given me the freedom to express myself and so much more! You have backed me up and given me everything I need and more to survive. Without you, none of this would have been existent, so I believe that the least I can do is acknowledge that. Thank you. For everything you've done and will do, there is no end to my gratefulness.